Who’s a sex addict?

It seems like everyone is talking about sex addiction these days.  This whole Tiger Woods scandal has put sex addition into the spotlight recently.

I recently read an article in the Los Angeles Times about whether sex addiction is a real disorder or disease like drug or alcohol addiction. The article argues whether extreme sexual acting out is an obsessive-compulsive disorder, a sign of depression or simply nasty behavior.  I’m sure the same thing was said at one time in history about gambling addiction and for that matter drug or alcohol addiction.

I asked one of my friends who happens to be a recovering sex addict and he offered his sincere opinion on this debate.  He feels that an addiction is an addiction, whether it is a by-product of depression or a compulsive obsessive disorder is really a moot point.  There are varying degrees of severity and methods of abuse.  It all depends on the individual.  There’s no clear-cut way to tell who is and who isn’t a sex addict.  How do we really define what is normal amount of sex versus what is abnormal?  It has to be on a case-by-case basis, and it requires self-awareness and intuition as much as it does a clinical diagnosis.

We can’t speak for Tiger Woods or David Duchovny since we don’t know enough about them or the choices they made and why they made them.  Addiction is not just about the substance or activity itself – it is a proxy or outlet for feelings and events that we are unable to deal with for one reason or another.

Sure there is the physical part like drinking, drugs or the sex but it’s also about escape from emotions like anger, fear, anxiety, loneliness, and countless other negative feelings.  It’s about compensating for something else but in this case using sex as the vehicle instead of coping.  Sound familiar? I thought so.