Serenity Is Forever

Solitary confinement

April 9, 2009 stephaniep12 step, 12step, aa, ACOA, addiction, alcoholism, boredom, christmas and alcoholism, isolation and addiction, na, one day at a time, Serenity, serenityprayer0 comment

When I was using, sometimes I felt like I was living in solitary confinement. My addiction was my incarceration–a lonely, frightening and lifeless jail of my own doing. Now that I’m clean and sober there is a whole dimension of solitude I’ve learned to embrace rather than fear. During my first year of sobriety, dealing with solitude was difficult. Like many others entering recovering, I had to let go of friends who used and using patterns I had developed that were social. Although I had developed other social networks with…

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The Importance of Sobriety Anniversaries

February 14, 2009 stephaniep12 step, 12step, aa, just for today, let go let god, one day at a time, serenityprayer, sober birthdays, sobriety anniversary0 comment

I just wrote an essay on why sobriety anniversaries are so important. Check it out at http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Importance-of-the-Sobriety-Annivers

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I’m only happy when it rains

February 6, 2009 stephaniep12 step, 12step, boredom, christmas and alcoholism, holidays and addiction, na, one day at a time, recovery, Serenity0 comment

It’s a rainy, foggy day and although I like the rain, today’s rain is reflecting my dark and somber mood. I had all these plans to be productive today but somehow I let my mood take over, simply relenting to the dark side. The problems in life overshadowing my plans, poor me. In my using days, these kinds of days really lent themselves to being stoned. I felt crappy so I got high. It would make me feel better, an instant bliss until it wore off and I’d get high…

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Hellidays II

December 31, 2008 stephaniep12 step, aa, ACOA, Al-anon, christmas and alcoholism, hellidays, holidays and addiction, live and let live, na, one day at a time, recovery0 comment

We’ve heard it before that people in recovery have it especially hard during the holidays. Everything from bad memories associated with drinking/using, to seeing loved ones out of control, to having to resist those urges to partake in a little holiday cheer like the rest of society. The holidays are the ultimate test of the addict/alcoholic’s commitment to sobriety. I personally don’t like the holidays much. I’m not a very christmasy person, not being traditional makes me feel bad, not giving in to the mass-consumerism makes me feel guilty and not…

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Freedom

November 13, 2008 stephaniep12 step, aa, addiction, just for today, na, sober birthdays, sobriety anniversary0 comment

As I approach my seven years of being clean, I ask myself what is the one true thing I’ve gained. That one thing would be freedom. Freedom from the isolation and secrecy of addiction. Freedom from not having to score my next stash. Freedom from my self-loathing and mood swings. Keeping that dirty little habit that spun so out of control from my husband, my family, my non-using friends, my co-workers and from society in general was a constant preoccupation. Like most addicts, I really tried hard to conceal my habit and for…

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Come clean with your Dr.

September 17, 2008 stephaniep12 step, addiction, fear of relapse, na, pain meds in recovery, recovery0 comment

This blog entry is dedicated to all the women out there who suffer from uterine fibroid tumors. Approximately 40% of menstruating women suffer from fibroid tumors. Symptoms include heavy, long periods, cramping and pelvic pressure Left untreated, these fibroids can make you anemic and your life miserable. Up until recently, I was part of this statistic. Ladies, there is a treatment option out there that doesn’t involve a hysterectomy, a major surgical procedure with a recovery time of 6-8 weeks. Fortunately, there is a procedure called Uterine Artery Embolization. UAE…

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Riding the insomnia train

May 16, 2008 stephaniep12 step, 12step, aa, addiction, insomnia and addiction, na, recovery0 comment

I am among the millions of people out there with occassional sleep issues. For the past few years, insomnia has come and gone. When I was using, getting sleep was really not much of a problem since I was self-medicating and in a state of perpetual buzz. I never seemed to get enough sleep and I almost slept too much. Today, I am clean and sober yet blissful, uninterrupted, deep sleep is sometimes a challenge. Is this an after-effect that many addicts/alcoholics experience in recovery? Was I too stoned at…

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Celebrity. Rehab.

April 23, 2008 stephaniep12 step, 12step, act as if, addicted celebs, addiction, alcoholism, celebrity rehab, na, recovery, Serenity, serenity prayer, serenityprayer0 comment

It seems not another day goes by that you hear about some famous person going to rehab. In this age of celebrity, being in recovery has almost become fashionable. Mind you, I am not usually into in celebrity gossip but when I hear about “so and so” going into rehab again, I can’t help but take an interest. Maybe it’s because I believe that celebrities in recovery are good publicity for recovery. To most people, stars seem to be these indivduals that are larger than life but when they wind…

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Still dreaming of using after all these years

February 17, 2008 stephaniep12 step, 12step, aa, addiction, dreaming of using, dreams of addiction, na, recovery, serenity prayer, serenityprayer0 comment

It’s been a little over six years now that I’ve been clean and every now and then I have a dream that I’m about to use. Usually it’s the same dream too that basically challenges my sobriety. In this dream, I am typically alone and low and behold, I seem to have found a stash of dope that I’ve completely forgotten about. So there I am in the same place I was years ago, excited to have found this buried treasure and wanting to have some right away. But in…

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The Hellidays…are they over yet?

December 26, 2007 stephaniep12 step, 12step, aa, addiction, christmas and alcoholism, hellidays, holidays and addiction, na, recovery, Serenity, serenityprayer0 comment

I’ve been very lax in my blogging lately due to the demands of the holiday season. Oh yes the holidays…such a challenging time of year for us in recovery. I sometimes like to refer to the holidays as the “hellidays” since we are bound by the traditions that put great social pressure on us, force us to be with family we would rather not be with and we have to do this clean and sober. And let us not forget the pleasure of watching others drink and get drunk. More than…

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Tag: 12 step

Solitary confinement

The Importance of Sobriety Anniversaries

I’m only happy when it rains

Hellidays II

Freedom

Come clean with your Dr.

Riding the insomnia train

Celebrity. Rehab.

Still dreaming of using after all these years

The Hellidays…are they over yet?