12step

Dear Friend

I may be clean and sober for nine years now, but alcoholism and addiction is alive and well in my family. I’m sick of it and I want it to go away, but I have to deal with it AGAIN and AGAIN. I want to share a letter I wrote a friend one today: My friend, I know you are angry, confused and hurt right now. I know because I’ve been there. About 10 years ago, my life was a shambles, my marriage was falling apart, I hated everybody and…

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12step

Hometown Blues

I went back home to my hometown recently after quite some time to visit my aging mom.  Going back home is always an emotional journey for me and although I look forward to visiting, I still can’t help but be filled with some dread about revisiting the place where I grew up and remembering what it was like growing up with alcoholism. It was only a decade ago that I used to visit my parents with plenty of drugs in tow that I managed so foolishly to hide in my…

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12step

Marijuana – Teenage Friend or Foe

Marijuana has become the most widely consumed illegal drug in the world. Since 1990, marijuana usage has doubled in the US and Canada. Today’s marijuana is so potent that the United Nations has considered reclassifying it as a different drug from the 1960’s counterpart. Although there is still a perceived notion that pot it is relatively benign, it is far from being a soft drug. The main reason is that today’s marijuana has been re-engineered to produce a high level of Tetra Hydro-Cannabinol or THC, its active ingredient. The levels…

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12step

Who’s a sex addict?

It seems like everyone is talking about sex addiction these days.  This whole Tiger Woods scandal has put sex addition into the spotlight recently. I recently read an article in the Los Angeles Times about whether sex addiction is a real disorder or disease like drug or alcohol addiction. The article argues whether extreme sexual acting out is an obsessive-compulsive disorder, a sign of depression or simply nasty behavior.  I’m sure the same thing was said at one time in history about gambling addiction and for that matter drug or…

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12step

Thanks for giving me sobriety

Thanksgiving is a special time but for me, it marks another year of sobriety.  I now have eight years of continued sobriety. During those years, I have experienced the same disappointments and achievements in life as I always have but the difference is that I was able to handle life on life’s terms– just using my instincts, some common sense and I hope, good judgment.  It’s been a tough yet wonderfully liberating experience. One thing that I found a bit of challenge is dealing with friends and family regarding sobriety. …

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12step

Public Enemy

We are a prescription drug society.  Not a day will pass when we will see an advertisement describing some medical condition and the pill that will help it.  An astonishing amount of advertising about insomnia has surfaced within the last few years.  It is estimated that one of out of six people over the age of 15 has problems falling or staying asleep. My co-worker has been taking as he describes a “tiny dose” of Clonazepam because he experiences “middle-of-the-night” insomnia. He wakes up every morning at 2 am and…

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12step

Solitary confinement

When I was using, sometimes I felt like I was living in solitary confinement.  My addiction was my incarceration–a lonely, frightening and lifeless jail of my own doing.  Now that I’m clean and sober there is a whole dimension of solitude I’ve learned to embrace rather than fear. During my first year of sobriety, dealing with solitude was difficult.  Like many others entering recovering, I had to let go of friends who used and using patterns I had developed that were social.    Although I had developed other social networks with…

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12step

Freedom

As I approach my seven years of being clean, I ask myself what is the one true thing I’ve gained.  That one thing would be freedom.  Freedom from the isolation and secrecy of addiction. Freedom from not having to score my next stash.  Freedom from my self-loathing and mood swings. Keeping that dirty little habit that spun so out of control from my husband, my family, my non-using friends, my co-workers and from society in general was a constant preoccupation.  Like most addicts, I really tried hard to conceal my habit and for…

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12step

Come clean with your Dr.

This blog entry is dedicated to all the women out there who suffer from uterine fibroid tumors.  Approximately 40% of menstruating women suffer from fibroid tumors.  Symptoms include heavy, long periods, cramping and pelvic pressure   Left untreated, these fibroids can make you anemic and your life miserable.  Up until recently, I was part of this statistic.  Ladies, there is a treatment option out there that doesn’t involve a hysterectomy, a major surgical procedure with a recovery time of 6-8 weeks. Fortunately, there is a procedure called Uterine Artery Embolization.  UAE…

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12step

Riding the insomnia train

I am among the millions of people out there with occassional sleep issues.  For the past few years, insomnia has come and gone. When I was using, getting sleep was really not much of a problem since I was self-medicating and in a state of perpetual buzz.  I never seemed to get enough sleep and I almost slept too much. Today, I am clean and sober yet blissful, uninterrupted, deep sleep is sometimes a challenge.  Is this an after-effect that many addicts/alcoholics experience in recovery?  Was I too stoned at…

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