Still dreaming of using after all these years

It’s been a little over six years now that I’ve been clean and every now and then I have a dream that I’m about to use.  Usually it’s the same dream too that basically challenges my sobriety.  In this dream, I am typically alone and low and behold, I seem to have found a stash of dope that I’ve completely forgotten about. So there I am in the same place I was years ago, excited to have found this buried treasure and wanting to have some right away. But in this dream I somehow know I’ve been sober and I’m battling these feelings of wanting to use just this one time yet afraid of being discovered. Then I am suddenly interrupted by somebody and I hide the stash promising myself I’ll get back to it later. The dream suddenly ends before I have a chance to use.  I don’t even get to experience the feeling of being high again. Is this a good thing or a bad one?

I’m sure that most of we recovering addicts/alcoholics have had these kinds of dreams and continue to have them once and a while.  When we wake up, we probably breathe a sigh of relief and say, “It was just a dream…thank God I’m still sober.”

This entry was posted in 12step and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.