I may be clean and sober for nine years now, but alcoholism and addiction is alive and well in my family. I’m sick of it and I want it to go away, but I have to deal with it AGAIN and AGAIN. I want to share a letter I wrote a friend one today:
I know you are angry, confused and hurt right now. I know because I’ve been there. About 10 years ago, my life was a shambles, my marriage was falling apart, I hated everybody and felt the world was against me. Money was my problem, my boss was my problem, my job was my problem, my husband was my problem, my family was my problem, living in California was my problem. Turns out the real problem was that I was an out-of-control addict and my life had become unmanageable.
Only after I was clean and sober for a good long while I realized that these problems were really all symptoms of my addiction, my addictive thinking and my addictive behavior. Things didn’t take care of themselves automatically but once I had sobriety, I had more clarity, more energy to deal with life on life’s terms. Today my life is completely different, I’ve been clean and sober for 9 years. I haven’t gotten high or drunk in that long and my life in not over, it’s just beginning. Sobriety is a wonderful gift and it can be that for you too.
Even though I fought going and it made me very uncomfortable, I went to a 12 Step meeting. There, I met great people who were in the same boat. Alcholics Anonymous is a the same support system with people just like you–every single one. You won’t feel so alone. It will seem strange at first but you will see there are very good reasons for everything that happens at those meetings. You will meet new friends who understand how you feel and you won’t feel so hopeless. The meetings are free of charge. If you want to contribute a buck or two you can, but you don’t have to. You don’t have to say anything, you can just sit and listen but you need to keep going back. No judgment, no pressure. There are AA meetings everywhere in your city, all day long.
I know you want to quit. You can do it but it’s impossible to do it alone. Don’t white-knuckle it, get support, you are going to need it. Believe me, I quit 100 times on my own but ultimately failed until I started going to MA.
Here’s how to find a meeting: www.AA.org They won’t sell you anything, they will just give you information. Give it a try, at this point you have nothing to lose.
Tell me how your first goes, I’d love to hear about it.